Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Long, cold Winter...

   So much snow! It is so beautiful. For the first week. But I'm a bit OVER it now. I'd guess that we have about 14" or more out on my back deck now. Deep snow is not so conducive to handicapped accessibility, if you know what I mean. I've been contemplating putting snowboards on my chairs' wheels!
    Its been more than two weeks since I've been out of the house. Normally I can take a lot of "being home". I'm not one that requires a lot of running around. But I'll admit I'm reaching a limit now! I'll be happy with a well-planned, bundled-up trip to Speedway for a cup of coffee!
  I'm finding too much idle time for my mind too, with being so "cooped-up". All the days are running together, its too easy to sleep too much, and all of these factors don't mix well in the mind of someone who sometimes battles depression. Too much time to sit and focus on every ache and pain. Fibromyalgia is a secondary condition that accompanies my "SM" and when it is really flared up, it is quite painful. Its also like a viscious cycle... the pain is hard to manage, and it is aggravated by things like depression or stress. I'll be so happy to get outside and move around a bit more.
The crazy thing is that we all have a CHOICE about how we deal with any circumstance. All I've written here today is about being sick of the snow, not getting out of the house, being depressed and in pain. Oooh, I'm sure anyone will want to read this!! :) Right?....
    Uh...NO. You make a conscious decision every day of what mindset you'll have, how active you'll be, and how you'll carry out your day. I am going to be more aware of what my mind is focused on and what I spend my time doing. I little stretching exercises will go a long way to help with my pain and muscle soreness. I have a couple faithful friends who have become quite good at "kicking my butt" when I loose focus. THANK GOD for friends like that. I need to give them a call and tell them how much they mean to me. I don't want to always be the "needy" one. I want to be an encouragement for my friends too.
   Funny how sometimes, if we just put our feelings into writing, we can see it all in front of us, and sometimes see the error in our thinking. Another reason I love writing and journaling so much.

Thanks to whoever may have "listened" in on this one-sided conversation. LOL

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